the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
