It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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