then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
there is glitter all over my balls
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