Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
