it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
