And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
