Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
