We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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