We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
