i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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