I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
