Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry missnuthin hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?

Fav 13 1135 5860
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet

Fav 22 1371 6370
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(506): View more from New Brunswick

I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

Fav 28 4775 1715
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.

Fav 6 1185 3015
share tweet
(662): View more from Mississippi

He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.

Fav 7 3308 1753
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.

Fav 11 1330 3460
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.

Fav 6 2416 842
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho

Fav 2 837 466
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.

Fav 0 32 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT