thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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