Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
