we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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