I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
