Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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