Sponge bath it is.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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