oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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