BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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