What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
last night I used snow as a chaser
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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