i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
