he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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