She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
