playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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