I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
