So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
