One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
