is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
