I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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