I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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