did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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