ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
