I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
