Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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