I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
