Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize