It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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