you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
