I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
