We got so high we made milksteak
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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