I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
