I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
