it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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