let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize