I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it was like having sex with a tree stump
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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