i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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