Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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