Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
