Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
