its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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