Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
