its not stalking. its research.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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