Someone shit on the floor
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I want to fling myself into the sun
God, I missed his penis.
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